Its Not About Me

Before we start, I just want it to be clear that this is MY blog, about ME, the things that happen to ME, that I write and organize, so that YOU might know all you ever wanted to know about ME!

No, really. I was thinking about last Sunday's lessons and how they might be related. After thinking for a while, it hit ME that the answer was in ME! Not exactly in me, but in the lack of ME.

Last Sunday we read these two passages:

Philippians 1:20-23, 30:
My eager expectation and hope is that I will not be ashamed about anything, but that now as always, with all boldness, Christ will be highly honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don't know which one I should choose. I am pressured by both. I have the desire to depart and be with Christ--which is far better-- but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you. For it has been given to you on Christ's behalf not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him, having the same struggle that you saw I had and now hear about me.

Matthew 20:1-16:
"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. After agreeing with the workers on one denarius for the day, he sent them into his vineyard. When he went out about nine in the morning, he saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. To those men he said, 'You also go to my vineyard, and I'll give you whatever is right.' So off they went. About noon and at three, he went out again and did the same thing. Then about five he went and found others standing around, and said to them, 'Why have you been standing here all day doing nothing?' "'Because no one hired us,' they said to him. " 'You also go to my vineyard,' he told them. When evening came, the owner of the vineyard told his foreman, 'Call the workers and give them their pay, starting with the last and ending with the first.' "When those who were hired about five came, they each received one denarius. So when the first ones came, they assumed they would get more, but they also received a denarius each. When they received it, they began to complain to the landowner: 'These last men put in one hour, and you made them equal to us who bore the burden of the day and the burning heat!' "He replied to one of them, 'Friend, I'm doing you no wrong. Didn't you agree with me on a denarius? Take what's yours and go. I want to give this last man the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my business? Are you jealous because I'm generous?' "So the last will be first, and the first last."

I guess pretty standerd lessons, nothing shocking, or really eye grabbing, just two regualar lessons to fill our liturgical calanders. Being the anylitical person that I am, I wanted to find a connection between the two (thanks Prof. Blanco, the bible is truly one long string beginning and ending with Christ,). So, while this is no Holman's Commentary, or anything worthy of the divine mark of CPH (I hope my sarcasm came across in that), its a good way to show how God can use our experiences to shed human understanding on the boundlessness of his divine grace.

So, Paul is ready to die in this passage. Yeah, his life, not exactly a box of roses at this point. In jail, he realizes that his sufferings here on earth are far under the superiroty of God's glory he knows he's going to see when he is called home. Can you imagine? We often uphorically think and talk about how we cant wait to get into heaven to see God's glory and how heaven will be better than here, and that is when we are all doing fine. alive and wagging tail (as they would say in Spanish). I would venture to say that none of us have ever gone to prison, which is the least of the things that happened to Paul. So heaven is looking really really extra bonifed great at this point to Paul. Yet he chooses to stay, becuase it is more beneficial. Its not about Paul. Its about getting out the message that Christ died for all out sins, becuase his father, who loves us so much, sent him to do just that, reconciling all sinful humans beings with their loving creator. Dying is gaining, and Paul probably really wouldnt mind blowing off the nasty conditions and I would guess less than calibur food served in prison to be in heaven, yet knows that his very suffering is bringing about the witness that the spirit would make "fruitful". Its not about Paul. And he says that this is the same struggle other Christians have lived through. That means its us. Its not about us. We may not stuggle between choosing death and life, but we struggle with other opposing ideas. One for me is the idea the idea of getting a job and having a life long career. There is this pressure to have my life figured out. Will I be better being a pastor or a professor? Which one will be more fruitful? In which profession can be more of a servant? And most importantly, which one would make me happy? Well, guess what Chris? IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! It is about the saving message of Christ. While Paul could have succomb to death in his cell, (I would venture to say that he was very near death at some points) he chose to keep on suffering, so that the Gospel could be advanced.

And what about this parable? What does it have to do with the lack of me-ness? Well, those of you that knew me about a year and a half ago would know how angry this parable would make me. I have been "working" (aka been a Christian) my entire life, and then these junkies and prostitutes are getting the same wage as me? This is not fair at all. And while I would never preach on it, I knew that I would have a stoll at the great feast that was just a little bit higher than theres. Sure, they would be in heaven. That was great. But I would be someone more important in heaven. During this "pious" (wow thats an understatment) period of my life, this whole thing of the first being the last was not a picture of God's grace, but a motto consistently throbbing as some sort of moral conscience, as if I made myself last, I would be first some day in a greater place. This "humbleness" didnt really humble me, nor did it make other first, becuase, in the end, I was still doing it to look out for number one.

But when you look at these two together, that NOTHING is about me, then the workers in this parable dont matter. After all, that is what I am. Nothing more than a worker. My service, as great as I think it makes me, does not make me any better than those who started working at the end of the day. What matters is that Christ's grace extends to all. That no matter if you have been a Christian all your life, one day, have screwed up everything that ever happened, broke every law, that if you beleive in Christ, his grace covers you.

So Pual tells us its not about us, becuase the only thing that matters is that Christ's grace is sufficient for all. And when we are all clothed in the robes of glory only He can bestow, there will be no difference between life-long Christians, new born Christians, male, female, slave or free man. So it is not about me, or what I want to be in my life. Its not about me getting the treatment I "deserve" on heaven, but rather recieving the gift of heaven from a father whose geneorosity exceeds all human understanding.