Bus Revelations...Part Deux

I was once again on the bus, and having just read a book about American Politics, I was inclined to thinking about my own country. I had just come from immigration (which like taxis, is another blog entry in itself.) so I was not particularly in a good mood, and even more inclined to being very critical about the culture I am starting to call my own.

I was deep in thought about how Panamanians are different from Americans, and though, how I love being here, I cant stand the qwuirks and the tweaks they possess that always make me stand out as the tourist. And since I have been realizing, in a slow and painful way, that my goals of fulling adapting to be a "Panamanian" are just romantic fantasies, these qwuirks were even more poingnant, and not so much that at this particular moment I felt out of place (although walking onto a bus is much like walking down a catwalk), but becuase our differences were very forward in my mind.

I sat on the bus, and when someone (a women, to be exact: women here, going along with their "princess complex", have this tendency of just attacking the aisles of busses head on. They dont politely turn to one side and try to make the best of pushing through a crowd of seven hundred commuters. No, not so much.) pushed by me and hit my head with her purse. Not surprised, I found myself pensive on this push, and even more the lack of an "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me". Sometime, in certain situations, normal rules of courtesy, morals and sometimes existence, just seem to suspend. There are no lines, except for the ever incessant pushing to the counter to get some one to help you. People seem to forget how to count too, since my ticket says number 55 and yours is 93 and you are trying to push in front of me. Then when it is your turn, you actually dont exist if you dont call the worker "mami" or "mi amor" or something equally flattering. I have found playing the "stupid gringo" card is really the only to get ahead, turning into the metaphorically equivalent of a jaw-smacking, gum-chewing, hair-twisiting sorority queen ("Like, um, I dont understand, mi amor. (bubble popping here) Like, um. wh-hhat?") And Panamanians, who are usually very preoccupied about "education" (not education education, becuase there is a serious lack of books here, but here education refers to your "politeness") seem to not care even about this, as elbowing and shoving and name-calling all seem fair play.

So, I wondered, why does this happen? Why does this frustrate me so? Such affronts to personal space and everyone personally, dont seem to bother anyone but me. And when others are affronted, they seem to not be bothered in the way that I am. What is so different about our cultures that these little twirks urk me so? Why cant I just push and shove on a bus, or step on someone's toe and then just continue on with my life? Why do I feel I have to apoligize for every stumble I make, and for every stander-by I nudge into?

I think it is that, here, there is no commitment to the greater good. And when I think about, America may the one places where this might still be true. People look out for each other, maybe not so much in the "neighborhood watch" sort of way anymore, but people stop for you to cross the street. People move out of the way when they are an obstacle between you passing between them, their shopping cart and a display of cereal. People apologize when they bump into you, and they actually try to prevent bumping into others. They dont block intersections with their cars as the light changes, and they see that if someone behind them is in a hurry, they kindly move out of the way. One of my Panamanian friends says that we have that luxary, becuase we, as a country have had to fight wars, we had to know who we were, and we had to pull each other up. We-va had leaders who know how to rally a people divided into one body of supporters. Panama lacks such experience. And another friend whould add that in a country with so much inequality, they only option is to look out for yourself.

That said, I think there is more of a commitment here to those you do know. While Panamanians might not apoligze for bumping into you, or they might not work to make life in this country easier for everyone, they would give their friend the shirt off their back. They talk to their balck sheep brother when he gets released from prison, to their duaghter who got pregenant before she got married. Unfortunately, I think this is being lost. We see children wanting to be more independent and families split beyond the point of recovery. So, here there is a commitment to good. ITs just different from the good that I am used to being committed to. And that makes me wonder which one is better, if in fact superiority can be claimed.